u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
