I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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