Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
