I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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