He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
