So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
