You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
