Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
two words...techno handjob
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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