I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
