grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize