At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
