how can u be prego again
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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