I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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