when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize