I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
