NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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