As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
