It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the day after is always just damage control
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
