I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
