Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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