You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
