Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
