That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
