if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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