Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
