Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
