Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
