this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
