i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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