I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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