Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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