As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
