1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
