my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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