you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I want to be your penis for a week.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
