The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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