Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
