The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We are two peas in an std pod
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
