im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Damn victory sex feels great
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
