I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
