sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
