i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
