We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
