Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
