My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sober January is a disaster.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
