wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
