guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
