Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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