I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
