You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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