Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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