He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
