Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
