I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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