so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
