You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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