I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
